Grief and Loss
Unfortunately, war sometimes involves losing loved ones.
If someone is grieving, we do not always need to find the right words to comfort them.
Sometimes saying something simple, such as:
“I am sorry this happened.”
Or:
“If there is anything I can do to help, I am here for you.”
Can be much more valuable than giving advice.
Grief takes time.
Every person copes with it in their own way.
We should not expect everyone to return to normal life very quickly. We all need support during war, but children, older people, people with disabilities and those who have lost loved ones often need more attention.
Sometimes a short conversation, a phone call or simply listening patiently can make a significant difference to how someone feels.
How Can We Support Someone Experiencing Shock or Severe Anxiety?
So far, we have talked about taking care of our own mental health and that of our families.
However, during these days, we may encounter someone who is extremely frightened, in shock or has lost a loved one.
In such situations, our first response is very important.
The World Health Organization and the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies introduce an approach called psychological first aid.
Psychological first aid does not mean psychotherapy or professional counselling.
Its purpose is to help a person feel safer in that moment and know that they are not alone.
The first principle is:
1. Approach Calmly
If the person does not want to talk, do not force them.
Sometimes your calm presence is enough.
You can say:
“I am here.”
“If you would like to talk, I am ready to listen.”
These simple words can create a sense of safety.
2. Listen More Than You Speak
Sometimes we quickly begin offering advice.
For example, we say:
“Don't cry.”
“Be strong.”
“Everything will be fine.”
However, in many situations, the person simply needs someone to listen without judgement.
Sometimes listening is more valuable than any advice.
3. Do Not Dismiss Their Feelings
If someone says:
“I am very afraid.”
Or:
“I feel like I cannot go on anymore.”
It is better not to respond:
“No, that is not true.”
Or:
“You are too sensitive.”
Instead, we can say:
“I understand that you are going through a difficult time.”
“It is natural to feel this way in such circumstances.”
This type of response helps the person feel understood.
4. Pay Attention to Immediate Needs
Sometimes the most important help is not talking.
The person may need water, food, medication, rest or contact with their family.
If you can, help them meet these basic needs.
5. Offer Realistic Hope, Not False Hope
No one can predict the future.
For this reason, it is better not to make promises unless we are sure they can be fulfilled.
Instead of saying:
“Everything will be over tomorrow.”
We can say:
“You are not alone right now.”
“I will do whatever I can to help.”
These statements are more honest and effective.